Posted by Having an extremely ill infant in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) can leave parents feeling helpless. But a new social initiative at the IWK is hoping to help new fathers regain a sense of control and fulfill their roles as caregivers to both mom and baby. ‘Dad’s Night’ allows current and former NICU fathers, to meet on a regular basis over snacks to trade tricks and tips on how to best fulfill their new roles.
“The guys want to help, but don’t know exactly how to. And they’re on double duty as they try to take care of new baby and partner,” says James Whitehead, father of a former NICU baby. “The group provides the opportunity and permission to talk to other guys about tough stuff. The relationships allow the dads to move from an awkward nod and not wanting to intrude, to having conversations and offering support. We are able to start saying things like ‘we’re having a good day, but can see you’re having a bad day – want to have a coffee and chat?’”
“The group provides the opportunity and permission to talk to other guys about tough stuff.”
Fathers can experience a number of emotions when having a baby in NICU and having someone who has or is going through a similar experience helps ease the stress.
“They often perceive themselves as needed to support their partners who have just undergone the physiologic challenges of giving birth. While there are some needs for the baby that dads cannot fulfill, for example, breastfeeding, they can provide skin to skin care, feeding breastmilk by nasogastric tube, etc.,” says IWK neonatologist Dr. Doug MacMillan. “Moms and dads working together can have a better understanding of the processes affecting their baby, or babies, and how they can assist. These sessions help provide dads with better ‘tools’ to help support their baby and their partner while peer support helps assist their own needs.”
“They often perceive themselves as needed to support their partners who have just undergone the physiologic challenges of giving birth. While there are some needs for the baby that dads cannot fulfill, for example, breastfeeding, they can provide skin to skin care, feeding breastmilk by nasogastric tube, etc.,”
Dad’s Night has proven so successful that ways are being sought to address other family needs that may include grandparents, siblings and other family members. The IWK treats 20 to 45 babies in its NICU at a time. Many of them are premature babies, while some have cardiac issues.